“And
your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be
dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age
in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them
but address them in terms of honour.” (Quran 17:23)
The Qur'an has made it compulsory for the child to treat his parents with all goodness and mercy. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"...And your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him and that
you be kind to parents. If either one or both of them reach old age with
you, say not to them a word of disrespect nor chide them, but address
them in terms of honour. And lower to them your wing of humility and
say, "My Lord and Sustainer, have mercy on them both as they nurtured,
cherished and sustained me in childhood." (17:23-24)
Thus every
Muslim must show goodness and mercy to his parents throughout their
lives. There is only one exception to this. That is, if the parents ask
their children to commit shirk, that is, to associate anything with
Allah, then the child must not obey his parent. In all other cases the
children must show love and gratitude to their parents. They must always
speak to them gently and respectfully. They must try their best to make
them happy, if that does not involve any disobedience to Allah.
The children must take great care not to react to what their parents
have to say. If they say or do anything which is not liked or approved
of by the children, then they must show patience and tolerance instead
of giving vent to their anger. The children must scrupulously try to
refrain from disobeying their parents since the Prophet of Islam
regarded this as one of the major sins.
Far from showing signs of displeasure, the children must pray for them. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"My Lord and Sustainer! Be kind and have mercy on them as they cherished, nurtured and sustained me in childhood."
We must continue praying for them even after they have died. Such
prayer will be regarded as a continuous charity as the Prophet has told
us.
The children must be more kind and grateful to their mother
since she takes greater pains so far as the upbringing of the children
are concerned. That is why the Prophet has told us expressly that it is
the mother who has the first claim on the child's care and attention.
Once a companion of the Prophet asked him as to whom he should show
kindness. The Prophet replied: "Your mother." He asked who comes next
and the Prophet again replied "Your mother." He asked the Prophet yet
again who comes next. The Prophet replied, Your mother." When the
companion asked for the fourth time, only then did the Prophet reply,
"Your father."
One of the benefits of being good and kind to
parents is that goodness and kindness is passed on from one generation
to another as the Prophet has said: "Be good and kind to your parents
and your children will be good and kind to you."
